I wish i could talk to evan about this. But i know how worried he'll be as well as how angry he might get. I think that's one point where we both see eye-to-eye; disappointment in people is something we cant take. Oh and we tend to get overly empathic at times. Bah..

I DONT LIKE BEING OVERLY EMPATHIC !!!

Sometimes, i dont like being too emotional, dont like feeling too much of others, dont like thinking too much about them, dont like worrying for everything they do.

But that's just how i am be it i show my concern or not. So i guess, in the end, i still have to accept it. For that is who i am; simply because i am me, the very way God had planned me to be.

Like how every other thing He's planned, i guess, i just have to accept them and move on.

My Lord, i pray that you would give me the strength to guide him to you. To show him your glory so that he'll accept you and love you as i do.




My heartbeat goes off every time i think of what happened.
It was, and still is, so surreal.

~*~

Woke up this morning with the Lord's Prayer in my head. No idea why. Haha.

Besides that, i'm thinking of signing up for the Alpha Course. Have not decided where or when yet. Preferable soon and at a location nearby. If not, mingkiat's(mk) church offers it too, so yea. Might go there too. See first laaa. Sengkang leh. So far. Tskk.


Anyway,

Our Father in heaven,
Hallowed be your name,
Your kingdom come,
Your will be done,
On earth as in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.
Save us from the time of trial,
And deliver us from evil.
[For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours,
Now and forever. Amen.]


Oh and this line that i found online:
Believe so that you may understand and not understand so that you may believe.

Because God has put us to it, i'm sure He'll pull us through it. This could be a good chance to bring him to Christ. =)

Everything still seems so surreal.

~*~

Okay. I think you might find this message to be really weird. But actually, I've been thinking about this for sometime already. Just that I've always found it rather hard to broach onto the topic.

This might be a really bad time to be telling you this but what I seriously wanna know is if you really feel that I'm a friend to you. After all, we rarely talk or share stuff. Honestly, I think I hardly know you.

I've known you for 2 years now but we rarely talk. Not talk, converse. Maybe I'm just thinking too much, maybe that's just how you wanna keep things as. Even so, couldn't you have at least mentioned it to me ? Just a sign of assurance would've sufficed. I don't like playing guessing games, Wil.

Above all, thanks for bothering to hear me out during a couple of those crazy times when I needed someone - Especially lately. Although I still get angry/sad/irritated when you hang the phone on me.

Nevertheless, thanks sweetie. I love you. I really do.

~*~

What finally led to wilfred replying me


Something i found just now:

The word integrity is related to the word integrate: "to bring all parts together." People with integrity make sure all the parts of their lives fit together — they don't act one way around one group and then change their tune in a different situation. As it says in Proverbs 11:3, "The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity."



Mixed signals. Double-standards. More than this but less than that.

I think we really need a talk, dont we ?

~*~

My dearest hippo, Wilfred:

I've been desperately trying to get hold of you for almost two weeks now. I'm really somewhat in need of the amath textbook, so yea, when're you finally free to past it to me ?

If you're too lazy to walk to the mrt station, i can always meet you somewhere nearer to your place like say the bus stop near st pats. So please please be a kind soul and stop using the dumb book to torment me. Thanks.

Much love,
Shuyun